Thoughts for the end of the year

And so the year is coming to an end. For us teachers, the signal of the end of the year is represented by being called back to school for meetings (& more meetings & even more meetings). Hurhurhur.

The past couple of days have been a little bit draining (to say the least) to this brain of mine that has not been working that hard (ok, not working at all) for the past month or so. May i clarify, brain has not been working ONLY with regards to school matters. The brain though has been on overdrive for some other matters which is best not to mention. LOL.

Honestly, i'm kinda excited (got my form class, & my subject classes as well as my responsibilities for the various departments) but at the same time a bit overwhelmed by everything. It doesn't help that miss red riding hood is currently visiting, hence the feeling of wanting to smile but cry at the same time is making me all confused & very unsure of what i am supposed to feel actually.

I hate worrying about not being able to keep up or not doing the best of my capabilities or not sure of what to do or what not to do. I should stop i know. School has not even started & i'm worrying like crazy. Worrying about things that might not even happen. GAH!

Worry less, pray more eh please Cikgu Nor. Advice people pandai, when comes to diri sendiri, all the advices sendiri lupa. Chet.

But as i always say, baby steps eh?

Pray for me dear friends, & readers. May 2012 be a smooth-sailing one for us, but even if it's not, may we be given the strength & patience to overcome what God has decreed for us. Afterall, things will only befall you because He allows it to happen. And things He does not allow, will not happen at all. :)

With that, enjoy the remaining of your holidays my fellow teacher comrades. Even if you are not teachers, do make the best of the long NEW YEAR holidays. Spend it with your loved ones. Tell them you love them, spend time with them & most of all ALWAYS appreciate them, for everything that they have done for you.

HAPPY (advanced) 2012.

be kind. always.

"Always be kind,

for everyone is fighting a hard battle."

- Plato -

(via uponafairytale)

i like to ride my bicycle, i like to ride my bike

(via uponafairytale)

just finds this picture really, really cute for some reason.

teehee. ;)

because he loves you

(via weheartit)

"For despite what some people say,

love is not only a sweet feeling bound to come and quickly go away."

- Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love -

Love, 

something that stays with you,

even if you try so hard to make it go away.

# side-track #

nak husband macam gini jugak please.. 

yang will layan-layan all my want-to-take-picture-here-there-everywhere nonsense. Yes, even when he thinks it's nonsense, he will still layan me because he loves me like that. hehehe. boleh gitu?
boleh please? *shows cute, mentel face*

at the rate i'm going, with all the nonsense things i want in a husband, i wonder who will want to marry me.
LOL!

the river or the lake

"Between your fingers you hold a stone and throw it into flowing water. The effect might not be easy to see. There will be a small ripple where the stone breaks the surface and then a splash, muffled by the rush of the surrounding river. That's all.

Throw a stone into a lake. The effect will be not only visible but also far more lasting. The stone will disrupt the still waters. A circle will form where the stone hit the water, and in a flash that circle will multiply into another, then another. Before long the ripples caused by one plop will expand until they can be felt everywhere along the mirrored surface of the water. Only when the circles reach the shore will they stop and die out.

If a stone hits a river, the river will treat it as yet another commotion in its already tumultuous course. Nothing unusual. Nothing unmanageable.

If a stone hits a lake, however, 
the lake will never be the same again."

- Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love -

if you know me really well, 
you will know which water body i am 

and then you will truly understand, 
why i am the way i am.

i was made that way.
please have heart?

we always have a choice - to stay or to go

(via letmeloveyou)

if i push you away,

will

you

choose

to

stay?

falling, one more time

"sometimes two people have to fall apart

to realize how much they need to fall back together."

(via uponafairytale)

i hide my pain so well, i surprise even myself when it hurts.

(via weheartit)

sometimes i wish this heart doesn't hurt easily.

but they always say - "be careful what you wish for."

i guess i should be thankful i hurt easily, cos it means i'm capable of loving that much. but it also means people are capable of hurting me as much. you can never have everything can you.

dear heart, please stop hurting. please, i ask of you.

this is only the hurt part. i have yet to start on the trust part. sigh.
i guess when i stop hurting, that's when i'll start trusting again.

as much as i'm hurting, i will fight for the promises i made. or will i be left with no more energy to fight?
i guess only time will tell.

"not all scars show,

not all wounds heal."


but that's the sad me talking.

the optimistic me will say,
"what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger."

and i have always been optimistic like that. i am made this way.
so yes, i am stronger & hopefully wiser (after turning 18 a few days ago). hehehehehe.
because after all, not only i hurt, i do hurt people too (hmmm, probably it's my karma yes for hurting people's feelings whether i realise it or not. then again, it might be another of God's test for me). 
whatever it is, it's a cycle. part & parcel of life.
so i shall be a man woman & suck it up. hehe.

and at the end of the day,
i leave it to fate & God.
He knows best. :)

and psst, wanna know a secret?
the thing is, not only my heart hurts, the head is hurting too. all because i banged my forehead into the side of the bed when i woke up this morning. and it's hurting like crazy. ouch.
oh well, the perks of being so clumsy. O.o
hurhur.

No one intends to cause pain

(via uponafairytale)

hence, the best thing to do is to manage the thing that you are in control of - in this case, your emotions - and learn to let go.

only then, insyaAllah, everything else will fall into place & you will find your peace.

Sesungguhnya, aku berbual so macam paham!!! HAHAHA! 

but i guess the least we can do is try? Afterall, no one intends to cause anyone else pain (unless they are sadistic like that) much less want pain inflicted upon themselves.

Bazinga!

"i cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad."

- Dr. Sheldon Cooper -

(via fyeahbigbangtheory)

hehehe. because he is just so funny like that. (i mean, fans of the big bang theory will understand.. ;p) 

watching him (& leonard, & wolowitz, & raj) never fail to make me laugh out loud. He has got to be my most favourite character on the show. :)

i tried watching the show once while on the bus (boy, was it hard to control myself.. cos, i can't laugh out loud in the bus! hahaha!) & i never, ever dared to watch it again, lest people around me thought i was crazy, smiling to myself. hurhur.

so i have my dates with dr. sheldon cooper confined to home. Lol!

felt like the longest time

"such an empty space when you are gone."

(via icanread)

she said: i thought you forgot.

he replied: i didn't forget.. never will.

and with that she started her 28th with tears,

& a smile on her face.

:')

so hug me and tell me all will be fine

worried.

that i might not take tomorrow as well as i should/would.

seeking solace in the fact that tomorrow is actually a very nice date.

13.12.11

happy with small little things like this. teehee.

no one else

(because i remember the surprise twirls)

And everytime i try to take a step back,

i find myself coming back,

only to you.

It's as if the heart already knew,

that it will always be you.

a smile on my face

(via uponafairytale)

MasyaAllah, comelnya ini anak! Hehehe.

the moment i saw her face, i immediately let out a small giggle. Hehe. Too too cute!

Definitely made me feel better after last night's emo moments.

I guess, it really doesn't take a lot to make me happy.

I'm easy to please like that.

:))

will continue to be strong

there are times like tonight,

when the tears feel like flowing,

and there's nothing i can do to stop it.

"People cry not because they're weak,

it's because they've been strong for too long."

(via weheartit)

dear Allah, please keep me strong for a while more.

please i ask of You.

why should we?

 “The people who were trying to make this world worse are not taking the day off. 
Why should I?”

- Bob Marley -

second chances

(via uponafairytale)

in other words, "would you date/marry yourself?"

can't remember when i first came across this question, but subsequently it made me ponder upon it, question myself & start looking at my own flaws. And were there many flaws. Do forgive me. :((

(dulu rasakan diri ni macam baik sangat, sigh.. but not too late i hope.)

It made me realised that it's not other people who has to change. It's me. I was so busy focusing on other people's flaws just so that i can escape my own.

And alhamdulillah, i won't say that i've improved all parts of my life but certain aspects, probably. Certain characteristics, i think so. Or at least i hope so. Even then, there are still many flaws to be reviewed upon.

I do have a long way to go (sometimes i do falter & forget), but whatever it is, do bear with me & these flaws of mine as i continue on this journey to be a better person to myself & to those around me (especially the ones i love).

insyaAllah.

:)

forgive though you've been hurt

"I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they are going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I've learned that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts. I've learned that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse."

- anonymous -

(via littlemiss)

wanna grow old beside you

(via sweetstuffcalledlove)

aiyo! so sweet nak pengsan please!
:)) 

siapa nak grow old beside me? angkat tangan!
*mentel mode tak tentu pasal*
hahaha..

Yuna - Deeper Conversation

Is your favourite colour blue?
Do you always tell the truth?
Do you believe in outerspace?
And I'm learning you

Is your skin as tanned as mine?
Does your hair flow sideways?
Did someone took a portion of your heart?
And I'm learning you

And if you don't mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
And Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

I let my guard down for you
And in time you will too
In time, we will. InsyaAllah. :)

Dear December

(via weheartit)

Hello December.

November has been good to me thus far, please be good to me too.

I'm counting on you. Don't disappoint me dear December.