reminder to self

"If you never thank Allah after every smile,

Then you have no right to blame Him for every tear."

(via myquoteshome)

oh so true.

melancholic rainy days

It's been a while. Realised i haven't update for the month of November when the start of this month, last year i was so scared to receive this (kinda dreaded) month of November and remember praying my heart to be strong.

But, time flies they say. And it's November again. Although right now, it doesn't feel so dreadful anymore. Alhamdulillah. :)

Time heals all wounds ya. Or love heals. I choose to say love heals. Not necessarily love from another human being, or specifically love from another half.
But knowing that Allah continues loving you, is actually enough for you to heal. Trust me.

Thank you Allah for Your mercy & Your love. Because You are the only One who doesn't disappoint. I must always remember that.

Just changed the background to suit the rainy mood these few days and probably the next month or so. I love rainy days. :) The melancholic feeling that accompanies rainy days are very very very much loved. :)

And feeling melancholic will make me blabber non-stop. Yes, like right now. Hahaha.

Which is why i need this blog. I cannot not write or in this case type. Have always had a journal even back in primary school because i need to let my feelings out even if it's just on a piece of paper (although looking back, my worries back then has become laughable now.. hehe). I cannot just keep these feelings inside me without having an outlet to vent. It's an escapism for me. Writing. Which is why I have journals for my kids (i love calling my students, kids). So that at least, they have an outlet to express themselves, away from the prying eyes of other people who just want to know what's going on but not exactly bothering or caring.

At least when my kids write, they know they have someone to respond to. Though some don't get why they need to write a journal, some actually expressed their inner deepest feelings into the journal. And i'm happy to respond to their writings. Even if i can't solve their problems, at least they feel better writing it down and sharing with someone whom they trust.

Oh well, this is what happens when i blabber. i start writing about something and end up with something totally different. hehehe.

till the next 'melancholic' entry.

toodles!

failed a thousand times

"A thousand times i've failed

and still Your mercy remains."

(via islamicthinking)

i'm truly sorry ya Rabb.

have not been doing my religious duties properly and consistently.

yet, You are still ALWAYS there for me.

:'(

Ramadan 1433H Post #06

“To all those broken or hopeless, I have learned this:

Be grateful for every single person who was part of your story. The ones that hurt you. The ones that helped you. The ones that came, and the ones that left. They all taught you. Don’t think for a moment that any of it was random. There are no oversights with God. Only perfectly crafted chapters in each unique journey.”

- Yasmin Mogahed -

---

everything is nothing, but a blessing.

Allah sure knows best.

we are already entering 17 Ramadan. more than half-way through.

masyaAllah.

time flies indeed.

Ramadan 1433H Post #05

"O Allah, on this day, strengthen me in carrying out Your commands,

let me taste the sweetness of Your rememberance,

grant me, through Your graciousness, that I give thanks to You.

Protect me, with Your protection and cover, O the most discerning of those who see." 

Ameen.

(via duaoftheday)

Approaching Ramadan

“How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.”

- The Forty Rules of Love, Elif Shafak -

Ramadan is approaching in 2 days' time.

1 more day to first night of terawih. :)

I'm pretty excited. :)

But this happens to me every single time. Will get all excited before the start of Ramadan, only to falter half-way through. Sigh.

And every single year I will make the same resolution - for my Ramadan to be better than the previous one. Hopefully this year I can be proud of my Ramadan.

Yang penting, niat tu ada eh. Hehe.

Whatever your niat may be,

may we all receive a blessed Ramadan this year.

InsyaAllah.

for a reason

(via uponafairytale)

as always,

have faith.

things are sure to work out in the end.

after all,

He knows best. :)

because He is All-Merciful

"So it got me thinking about how many things in our lives we mess up again and again and again. It got me thinking about how many things we keep getting wrong, how many things we do to hurt our own selves.

And yet, Allah keeps mending it. Again and again and again.

Allah never grows tired of mending it.

He never grows tired of healing us.

Subhanna Al-Jabbar. Wa Allahu akbar."

(via yasminmogahed)

time & time again You gave me a chance.

time & time again i did not learn my lesson, and screwed up somehow.

thank You,

for the chances

after chances

after chances.

for the mending,

and the healing.

for everything.

please heal me,
one more time.

in the name of Allah.

(via thebeautyofislam)

the 1st day of term 2.

May Allah grant me (and all of you) ease in all that we do. insyaAllah.
Amin.

Bismillah.

alpa

"Allah created us to make mistakes so that we could turn to Him, and He could in return,

turn to us and forgive us."

- Shaykh Hamza Yusuf -

(via thebeautyofislam)

time & time again i forget.
yet time & time again, You are always there.

:'(

on another note,
alhamdulillah it's Friday.

for He knows what we know not

“God is a meticulous clockmaker. So precise is His order that everything on earth happens in its own time. Neither a minute late nor a minute early. And for everyone without exception, the clock works accurately. For each there is a time to love and a time to die.”  -- Shams of Tabriz

- The Forty Rules of Love, Elif Shafak -

1 Muharram 1433H

Alhamdulillah, Allah is Just & Fair.

A year ago, I was celebrating Muharram with tears in my eyes & a very heavy heart. It definitely felt like I would never be happy again. I surrender myself to Him & Him alone. Pasrah was the word.

Never would I have thought that a year later, these feelings would be looked upon as lessons from the past. Never would I have thought that this year, everything will turn itself around.

This year, despite with Miss Red Riding Hood coming to visit, I feel a sense of calm & acceptance. That now I know every single thing happens for a reason. That everything happened so that I can learn from it & (try) not to make the same mistakes again. That things happened so that I can find myself again & know what it is I'm doing & where I'm going with my life.

Though there are still uncertainties, I know I'll be fine eventually. We'll all be fine. We just have to have faith. And also cos, I'm optimistic like that. :)

Allah is All-Knowing. Syukur ya Rabb.

Salam Maal Hijrah to all my friends & readers. 

May this Muharram, the start of the Islamic year, brings you peace & joy like how it did me. May you find what it is that you are looking for & always know that despite everything, despite everyone, 
Allah will always be there for you. :)

p/s Looking forward to tomorrow! ;)

Allah is the best of planners; continued

so, for my dear readers who happen to stumble upon yesterday's entry would know that my day yesterday ended off on an awesome note. alhamdulillah. :)

what started off as an oh-so-emotional day (no surprises there, november is a melancholic month for me), ended with dearest cuzzie, Nadiah asking me to tag along to her ustaz's class.

it all started with her sending me an image of Barney Stinson (shall not elaborate on him today.. if you watch himym you should know.. shall not elaborate on himym also.. see, i always digress on nonsense things like this) & how he is getting more awesome despite everything else.

and then me replying to her on how emotional i am at that point of time because of something not-so-important but at the same time not-really-that-irrational (to me). am very thankful she understands this nonsensical emotional roller-coaster ride that i have at times. *hugs*

to cut the story short, the watsapp conversation ended with her asking me to join her for class @ al-falah after maghrib. and i agreed since i have nothing on at night & the class sounds interesting -- "The 10 Promised Paradise."

the moment i stepped into the class, the first thing that struck me was why were there so many Chinese people in this class. somehow it did not strike my mind at that point of time that Muslim converts comes from all races.
(this is what happens when you always go to classes full of makciks & pakciks.. 
you start to think that orang Islam = orang Melayu.. hahahahahaha)

so yes, i was in awe really to be surrounded by these converts. honestly, i would love to know each & every one of their story. what made them convert to Islam? how did they find Islam? was it challenging being a non-Malay Muslim? etc etc etc. you get my drift.

so these questions were just playing at the back of my head as i listened to the ustaz's presentation. my full concentration was on him, until someone diagonally behind me said something & i swiveled my head to look at that direction & noticed a guy with his whole left arm covered with tattoos (!)

and at that exact moment, pride & awe overcame me. this guy, with an arm full of tattoos (!) is attending this class!

(ermmm, you can say that i was a bit jakun la actually.. as i said my class always full of makciks & pakciks hence to get such a vibrant class is a bit overwhelming i might say.. hehehe)

so yes, once i got over myself, i managed to continue listening to ustaz's presentation.. he presents in English by the way, but of course. and this was the other (little) problem i had as i am very much used to other ustaz presenting in either Malay or Bahasa Indonesia.. i literally had to translate (in my head of course) some of the things he was saying to the Malay language.. hahaha..  
very kental i know!!!

like for example, caliphates = khalifahs, shroud = kain kafan, and then there's forbearance, magnanimity, emoluments & well, you get the idea.. hehe.. maklumlah, cikgu Melayu.. ;p

so yes, all in all it was really an awesome experience to say the least. :)

and something happened too (right after cuzzie asked me along) which made her said,

"alhamdulillah, see better things happen when we decide to do good things for ourselves :D"

so to you, i wanna thank you too for making my day with that sweet (but cheeky) message of yours. good luck with the making of the video montage. i miss you today.
(and who this person is? that, i shall not say, for now. hehe.)

to end this off, again i reiterate.. Allah IS indeed the BEST of all planners. :))

Allah is the best of planners

(via thesunalwayssets)

sometimes, we just need something to happen to be reminded of God's grand scheme of things.
After all, He is the best of planners. (Surah Al-e'Imran, Ayat 54)

like for me, today happened.

and i'm still delirious from the awesomeness of it all. syukur alhamdulillah. :))

story will have to wait till tomorrow.
for now, this lady needs her sleep.

toodles everyone!

be persistent in doing the things He loves

"If you desire Allah to be persistent in granting you the thing you love, be persistent in doing the things He loves."


- Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal -

(via thebeautyofislam)

need to remind myself time & again.

again & again & again.
:(

Pursue a path in search of knowledge, God will make easy for you a path to paradise.

"If anyone removes (one of the) anxieties of this world from a believer, God will remove (one of the) anxieties from him on the Day of Resurrection; 

if one smooths the way for one who is destitute, God will smooth the way for him in this world and the next; 

and if anyone conceals the faults of a Muslim, God will conceal his faults in this world and the next. 

God helps a man as long as he helps his brother. 

If anyone pursues a path in search of knowledge, God will thereby make easy for him a path to paradise."

(HR Muslim)

(via thebeautyofislam)

Dear Allah,

please help me in all of the above.

Thank you.

Friday prayers in Kazakhstan

(via lordsfavors)

i sooo cannot imagine praying in such cold, freezing weather.

brrrr..

 #gratitudefriday

gratitude towards Allah

"Allah’s generosity is connected to gratitude, and gratitude is linked to increase in his generosity. The generosity of Allah will not stop increasing unless the gratitude of the servant ceases."

- Ali Bin Abi Talib (R.A.) -

(via thebeautyofislam)

patience is a virtue

via (thesunalwayssets)

i need to learn to be (MORE) patient.

help me please ya Rabb.

help me be MORE thankful to You.

"Then which of the favours of your Lord will you deny?" 
(Surah Al-Rahman)

prioritise Allah

"When Allah is at the center of your priority in life then you are at the center of Allah’s providential care."

- Hamza Yusuf -

via (thebeautyofislam)