melancholic rainy days

It's been a while. Realised i haven't update for the month of November when the start of this month, last year i was so scared to receive this (kinda dreaded) month of November and remember praying my heart to be strong.

But, time flies they say. And it's November again. Although right now, it doesn't feel so dreadful anymore. Alhamdulillah. :)

Time heals all wounds ya. Or love heals. I choose to say love heals. Not necessarily love from another human being, or specifically love from another half.
But knowing that Allah continues loving you, is actually enough for you to heal. Trust me.

Thank you Allah for Your mercy & Your love. Because You are the only One who doesn't disappoint. I must always remember that.

Just changed the background to suit the rainy mood these few days and probably the next month or so. I love rainy days. :) The melancholic feeling that accompanies rainy days are very very very much loved. :)

And feeling melancholic will make me blabber non-stop. Yes, like right now. Hahaha.

Which is why i need this blog. I cannot not write or in this case type. Have always had a journal even back in primary school because i need to let my feelings out even if it's just on a piece of paper (although looking back, my worries back then has become laughable now.. hehe). I cannot just keep these feelings inside me without having an outlet to vent. It's an escapism for me. Writing. Which is why I have journals for my kids (i love calling my students, kids). So that at least, they have an outlet to express themselves, away from the prying eyes of other people who just want to know what's going on but not exactly bothering or caring.

At least when my kids write, they know they have someone to respond to. Though some don't get why they need to write a journal, some actually expressed their inner deepest feelings into the journal. And i'm happy to respond to their writings. Even if i can't solve their problems, at least they feel better writing it down and sharing with someone whom they trust.

Oh well, this is what happens when i blabber. i start writing about something and end up with something totally different. hehehe.

till the next 'melancholic' entry.

toodles!

because everyone have scars

"People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers."

(via uponafairytale)

it's inevitable you know,

these scars.

it can be about anything and everything. or nothing at all.

it can be big, small, or cannot even be seen by the naked eye.

the only thing we can do is,

move on.

and let time (or love) heal the wounds.

only then we can forgive ourselves for getting ourselves wounded,

or forgive others for wounding us.

only when we can be happy on our own,

then this scar will be nothing but just a scar.

and we won't even feel the pain anymore.

after all, scars are part & parcel of life itself.

without these scars, 

to remind us of what we have gone through,

then we never exactly have grown up.

without these scars,

then maybe, we'll never learn to love ourselves better.

without these scars,

we might not even know how to love others proper.

so, thank you scars.

for teaching us about life & love itself.

we owe you one.

though you can be very painful sometimes.

my heart loves you.

"I'm looking at you

and my heart loves the view."

(via lovequotesrus)

every time darling,

every single time.

♥♥♥

The ABCs of Genuine Happiness

Accept your reality.
Be present. Be bold.
Create something exciting.
Drink plenty of water. Dance.
Exercise daily. Eat fresh foods.
Feel your emotions. Face fear.
Go outside and observe nature. Give.
Hug often. Help others.
Ignite your passions.
Jump through your comfort zone.
Kiss passionately. Keep looking forward.
Laugh. Love. Learn to let go.
Meditate daily. Make goals.
Never give up on what you want.
Own a pet. Observe beauty.
Pray. Paint. Play an instrument.
Quit a bad habit. Quiet your mind.
Read. Relax. Reinvent yourself.
Smile. Sleep. Simplify.
Take power naps. Talk wisely.
Unleash your strengths.
Vent. Visualise your dreams.
Walk. Write. Watch the sun set.
Xerox your smiling face. :)
Yell less. Yield to your thoughts.
Zap negativity.

(via uponafairytale)


Gonna print & paste this at my work station.
:)

Doing the blue ones.
Need to work on the red ones.

My favourite is 'Quiet your mind.' Mind aku sungguh bising. Haha.

exactly.

"cause whenever we are together,

i feel perfectly fine."

(via uponafairytale)

true story.

"sometimes when I push you away,

it's because I need you to pull me closer."

(via uponafairytale)

everything, everytime.

"there are two reasons why people don't talk about something:


either it doesn't mean anything,
or
it means everything."

(via uponafairytale)

for me, it has always been the latter.

it means too much for me to even start talking about it.

i have to learn to voice out my views & not be afraid of conflicts because i guess, only with conflicts do we grow. only by having these talks will all these baggage be free.

so give me time,

give me a chance,

make me feel safe,

and hear me out.

show that you want me.

that you want to hear me.

that what i have to say is important to you.

that i am important to you.

that i mean the world to you.

that you treasure me.
cherish me.
adore me.
love me.

show me.

---

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’

Chris – age 7

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’

Jessica – age 8

afraid, very.

She said, ‘I’m so afraid.’ And I said, ‘Why?’, and she said,
‘because I’m so profoundly happy, Dr. Rasul. Happiness like this is frightening. They only let you be this happy if they’re preparing to take something from you.'

- The Kite Runner -

(via uponafairytale)

breathes in, breathes out.

(via uponafairytale)

everyday i tell myself,

no matter how exhausted or upset i am, with the students or circumstances,

i have to:

Keep Calm & Carry On.

"i need... you", he said.

(via weheartit)



i'm gonna need you more.

always been the little things

(via weheartit)

For me, it has always been the little things.

Like for instance:
a surprise hug from the back (or many hugs), or

a sudden peck on the lips, or
a bar of chocolate,
or even just a simple text of good morning/night.


it's the little things that i remember & cherish the most.
:)

p/s last night was love. :)

we always have a choice - to stay or to go

(via letmeloveyou)

if i push you away,

will

you

choose

to

stay?

i hide my pain so well, i surprise even myself when it hurts.

(via weheartit)

sometimes i wish this heart doesn't hurt easily.

but they always say - "be careful what you wish for."

i guess i should be thankful i hurt easily, cos it means i'm capable of loving that much. but it also means people are capable of hurting me as much. you can never have everything can you.

dear heart, please stop hurting. please, i ask of you.

this is only the hurt part. i have yet to start on the trust part. sigh.
i guess when i stop hurting, that's when i'll start trusting again.

as much as i'm hurting, i will fight for the promises i made. or will i be left with no more energy to fight?
i guess only time will tell.

"not all scars show,

not all wounds heal."


but that's the sad me talking.

the optimistic me will say,
"what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger."

and i have always been optimistic like that. i am made this way.
so yes, i am stronger & hopefully wiser (after turning 18 a few days ago). hehehehehe.
because after all, not only i hurt, i do hurt people too (hmmm, probably it's my karma yes for hurting people's feelings whether i realise it or not. then again, it might be another of God's test for me). 
whatever it is, it's a cycle. part & parcel of life.
so i shall be a man woman & suck it up. hehe.

and at the end of the day,
i leave it to fate & God.
He knows best. :)

and psst, wanna know a secret?
the thing is, not only my heart hurts, the head is hurting too. all because i banged my forehead into the side of the bed when i woke up this morning. and it's hurting like crazy. ouch.
oh well, the perks of being so clumsy. O.o
hurhur.

felt like the longest time

"such an empty space when you are gone."

(via icanread)

she said: i thought you forgot.

he replied: i didn't forget.. never will.

and with that she started her 28th with tears,

& a smile on her face.

:')

will continue to be strong

there are times like tonight,

when the tears feel like flowing,

and there's nothing i can do to stop it.

"People cry not because they're weak,

it's because they've been strong for too long."

(via weheartit)

dear Allah, please keep me strong for a while more.

please i ask of You.

Dear December

(via weheartit)

Hello December.

November has been good to me thus far, please be good to me too.

I'm counting on you. Don't disappoint me dear December.

dear heart,

"The heart has reasons that reason does not understand."

- Jacques Benigne Bossuel -

(via icanread)

dear heart,

i trust you.

please be nice.

till we meet again

(via weheartit)

oh, the things i'd do just to have you here.
for the most part, i was actually ok.

but now, me is not liking the distance very much.

:/

always been

"Because for me, it’s always been you. Always. 

And I’ve tried to fight it and I’ve tried to deny it. But I can’t. 

You’re undeniable."

(via uponafairytale)

i will always love you

Was with a galfriend, Sri @ PaperChase yesterday & the store was playing (my favourite) Adele's whole album. I was of course enjoying myself browsing the stationeries (those who know me will know how much I love these kind of shops) and deciding on a personal organiser for 2012 (of course as usual I ended up not buying any at the store because of their ridiculous prices). So anyway, that's not the story.

While browsing, a (very, very) familiar song played in the store (apparently, Adele did an acoustic cover of the song & it's in her album). At that exact moment, tears were already forming in my eyes. I'm not sure if it's a sign or mere coincidence, but for now i shall take it as a good, no make that a wonderful sign. :) Because of the fact that just hours before, texts were being exchanged. Texts which brought a huge smile to my face.

A smile which can be felt by the heart. :))

I shall leave the story at that.

For now, let me just leave you with that song that was being played yesterday (which is currently on repeat mode).

However far away, I will always love you
However long I stay, I will always love you
Whatever words I say, I will always love you
I will always love you

♥